was reading all my previous posts
including those in my old blog
and i suddenly had a lot of gan chu
was recalling abt the many incidents
that happened in my life
the happy ones
and the sad ones
was shocked that i was rather grey
last time
maybe i still am
esp last nite
haha
yi miao de an wei
im suddenly damn hooked to this song
although i know none of you have
heard it before
blehs
suddenly find YiDA rather attractive
as in his voice really can touch me la
now den i realised why i loved him so much
last time
haha
i got taste one lor
:))
一秒的安慰
是我想你的滋味
微甜的滋味
让我能去面对
欠你的安慰
经管你从不曾说累
你寂寞的脸
我发现
对你总不够体贴
一秒的安慰
是那思念的滋味
微甜的滋味
给你力气面对
温柔的安慰
让它流入你的心扉
给我机会
去体会
生命里有你
多美
***
mons!
ok,i admit yest the post is talking abt you one k?
but its all because i was really depressed at that
moment
pls dun take it to heart k?
if not i will be real upset!
love you,dear!:)
be it sweet or bitter; 10:15 PM
so hiding in your warm blanket and crying
helps whn nothing else seems to work
yest was the first time i realised crying
needs energy too.
its good to cry once in a while even for
no reasons
but it will take up a lot of energy if you
do it often
its nice to let it all out i guess
i think i wasnt myself last night
sorry everyone
special thanks to those two ppl who
tried to comfort me
im touched
***
ohwells,
jus disappointed i guess
(not abt sumthing which happened during cca)
be it sweet or bitter; 9:12 PM
im hurt
be it sweet or bitter; 7:52 AM
but i still wana cry
at least you bothered
ooh,but you haven reply my sms.
maybe you gave up too?
be it sweet or bitter; 7:47 AM
but tears jus dun flow out
pls dun ask me why
coz i really dunno the ans even myself
i feel really empty
as though 90% of me were taken away
and the prob is i really dunno why
i know this post sound really stupid and all
but who cares?
coz even you dun care.
i tried my best to comfort you whn you are down
but whn im down
you jus simply dun care
i dun understand why im even feeling down
but the prob is
you dun care.
maybe im overbearing and all
maybe im selfish
but all i want is your concern
but finee la is all you said
i seriously dunno what the hell is the prob with me
maybe this is jus the moodswing that everyone is talking abt?
im crying now
at least it feels better to let everything out
-erased-
be it sweet or bitter; 7:27 AM
Thursday, June 29, 2006
although i noe theres not much hope in tml's amaths test le
i will still try my best de!
i need luck ppl!
give me luck!
:)
***
first huahui session tml aft qihang
hopefully will be having evaluation
but i won cry
shall be a strong gal
***
ok!
im off to study maths le!
wish me luck!
:)
be it sweet or bitter; 2:01 AM
Saturday, June 24, 2006
i wana go out with you,yiren!!!!
):
***
school is reopening tml le
xianz
but got hol on wednesday!!!:)
***
suddenly jus wana blog abt how abt i love luci-7
luci-7,i love you guys!!!
:)
be it sweet or bitter; 10:36 PM
Friday, June 23, 2006
missing everything
qihang2005-bengta
qihang2006-pingan
started to think abt what will happen to me if i din join huahui last time
i tink i will miss out all these wonderful experience
guess im really fortunate to be in such wonderful ju for two yrs le
shall stop here
if not this post will get super long
***
dun worry,smiling face
i am fine
i will start chionging soon
den we can go out tml
***
call me oversensitive
i hope im oversensitive too.
i dun wan it to happen
stop please.
be it sweet or bitter; 8:01 PM
AHHHHHHHHH
be it sweet or bitter; 8:25 AM
i feel like puking
i feel like crying
i dunno why i have gotten myself into this big big mess
i feel sorry for myself
but yet im not doing anything to improve the situation
i feel useless
im so damn inefficient
im confused
im messed up
i dunno what to do
f myself
im such a fucker
im super depressed now
im talking rubbish
god,please help me
i really need your help
i know its my own fault
that im useless
and im leaving everything to the last min
i know i shld not depend on you to help me clear my mess everytime
but i really need your guidance and help this time round
please help me
and i promise that i will nv repeat this mistake
ever
again
amen
be it sweet or bitter; 8:18 AM
Monday, June 19, 2006
im hugging the nice pillow now!:)
PINGAN2006,i love you guys so much:))
be it sweet or bitter; 4:02 AM
Friday, June 16, 2006
yesterday was the final rehearsal before qihang
everyone was rather stressed i supposed
and we screwed up our ju's own full run in the dance studio
esp me.
i dunno why i jus cannot concentrate
i jus cannot focus
sorry guys
luckily the full run at drama studio wasnt screwed up
although it wasnt THAT good
but still thank god that at least it is not screwed up mans
had ju dinner tgt
waited for daoyans to see guolaoshi
was with chuwen and mingee
we sang and do stupid stuff
hahawas qt fun
except for the stupid mosquitoes:/
ju dinner was ok i guess
had to go hme super early
coz mum was a but pissed i guess):
today
today will be qihang presents making day!
and did i mention sumthing?
wanglaoshi asked us not to give qihang presents on sunday
thats so stupid!
not giving qihang presents on QIHANG
but who cares?
im still doing,bringing and giving
haha
tml
tml will be the big day!
QIHANG 2006!
three months of hard work
and everything will be presented tml
everything that we have done
all the efforts that we had put in
we must prove to everyone that we can do it
huahui can do it!
pingan 2006
u guys made a difference in my life
although i have to admit i din really love you guys a lot in the beginning
but i guess as time goes by,we sort of get more and more bonded
and i jus love you guys more and more
although there are many misunderstandings
although there are many moments of unhappiness
we pulled through tgt
as a ju
we will not be a complete ju without anyone of you
i love...
kemin
danfong
chuwen
wendy
maple
mingee
all of you
even the crew for helping us soo much
i will like to say a big thank you here
i guess the personal msg will have to wait till aft qihang
if not this post will be super long!
haha
off to do my qihang presents
jiayou my darlings for tml
you can do it
and we must do it!
be it sweet or bitter; 10:12 PM
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
ok.
thats random
***
im dying le.
still got piles of hmewrk left!
shall go offline REAL soon
den pia all the way!
wish me luck guys!
):
be it sweet or bitter; 11:16 PM
well,someone,if you are reading this,
dun be sad anymore k?
sumtimes its really not worth it to be upset over somone's comments
i know it hurts
ive experienced it before
but you really must be strong enough to overcome it
and learn to put down and forget their comments
dun worry la,
you will do jus fine
:)
smile,and now you are not replying me!
are you ok or not???!!!?!
***
esti jenita!
i wana talk!:)
be it sweet or bitter; 7:37 AM
be it sweet or bitter; 7:19 AM
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
i had a lot to say,or at least i tot i had a lot to say
but my mind jus sort of went blank now
ok,a good news first
i confirmed not having fever le!
haha:)
hmmm
sorry for behaving totally not like myself jus now during evalution
or shld i say,sorry for breaking down
i tot i would be strong enough
i tot i no longer care
but it seems that i still cares
a lot
i dunno what to say,
coz im afraid it will come out all wrong again
but i jus wana clarify
i really din mean anything negative to anyone in our ju
(gosh!im tearing agn!)
but maybe its jus my character or what
i like to joke ard with ppl that i tink we are close enough
maybe im wrong in judgement
maybe we haven even reach a stage that i can joke with you all
maybe,maybe.
haiiz
this post is mainly for daoyans to see la!
i jus hope to clarify eVERYtHING
i have never mean to be sacarstic or anything
i appreciate you guys a lot too
its jus that sumtimes
misunderstanding occurs
im sorry if i have caused any unhappiness or anything
i really am sorry
pingan,we will do it
***
vexed
hols hmewrk undone
haiiz
***
im sinking in
like the gentle side of her/him:))
be it sweet or bitter; 7:30 AM
Sunday, June 11, 2006
have been so busy until every day is moving like a wind
dun feel much for qihang act
jus know that i still have piles of homework but no time to complete
i dunno why this whole holiday
seems to be so short
ironically,its supposed to be for me to
do work,rest,enjoy
but i tink i have completed none of the above
everyday is jus going to school
going to school
well,maybe not everyday
but like 3-4 days a week
im not complaining
jus shocked abt how fast this holiday has past
and how i have done practically nothing
nothing at all
i feel bad
but i really dunno why
why im not able to do stuff
stuff that needs to be done urgently
i feel useless
that i still have so much work left
and i feel tired
coz im not able to be rewarded with the rest that i needed so badly
and i haven revise my work or anything
why does holidays seem to pass as quickly
much more quickly then normal school days
STOP
thats all i want
for the world to stop temporarily
be it sweet or bitter; 7:59 PM
esti is real sexy today!
hahah
:))
be it sweet or bitter; 7:16 AM
went out with mons and esti to celebrate mons birthday in advance
since her birthday falls on qihang!
i guess the rain likes us a lot
kip following us ard!
haha
we got drenched even though we bought an umbrella just for today!
so a lot of crazy stuff happened as usual
and my shoes broke whn we were still in amk!
den i bought a new pair to change and its damn lang bei can?
besides that,
esti's shoes aso broke!
yes,its that stupid and unlucky
so we looked like three idiotic mad women looking for a cab
how unlucky can we get!
haha
we shld write a book entitled "the adventures of three unlucky gals!"
hahahah
qt hyper now although im qt tired
heh
and we took neos agn
although the machine totally sucks can!
so its singing,shopping,shopping,eating,shopping,walking,
taking neos,eating agn!
and yes,did i mention it?
we went to arcade and played para para aft eating dinner!
a grp of lians/bengs kip staring at us
and i was damn freaked out lor
its sooo embarrasing!
coz we simply carn dance(esp esti jenita!)
but nvm,and aft that its home sweet home!
because the whole adventure of the three unlucky gals is very long
and i carn type everything here
so the above is basically the summarised one!
haha
i love three unlucky gals
esp the other two unlucky gals 'm' and 'e'!
:)
***
happy gal today!
and i shall lock myself in my rm tml to complete ALL my work!
(or maybe,as much work as possible:/)
yea
:))
***
qihang is in six days time
wo hui jia you de
be it sweet or bitter; 6:56 AM
Saturday, June 10, 2006
dont be such a bitch
dont try to control me
and stop talking
you kip talking like this
i bet one day your mouth will drop out
dont spoil my mood
i really cannot stand it anymore
its sooo irritating whn you kip on nagging and nagging
i bet my ears are sooo polluted by everything you said
every single sentence
every single word
i dun understand why do you need to be so specified abt this type of minor stuff
hello?
ive grown up
dun treat me like a puppet who cannot think
i dun belong to you
stop hurting my ears by your disgusting voice
you are such a bitch
screeching like a witch
i hate you,mum0
i dun like you to be like this
dun push my limit
i carn take it anymore
i wana scream into your ears!
jus shut up
it won harm you to shut up for a while
dun be such an idiot
i really dislike it whn ppl nag
esp whn itsa abt stuff tt are not even impt
dun be so narrow hearted
and be troubled by this type of things
the world is very big
so stop it!
and i mean it
im getting more and more angry
i can feel my blood boiling
i feel like exploding
one more word from you
and THATS IT
fuck
be it sweet or bitter; 3:28 AM
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
coz esti's ferry broke down or sumthing den she taking ltr one
which means that i carn go and fetch her!
im in a grumpy mood now
coz my first part of the day is spoilt!
:(
paiju in three hrs and a half hrs time
sort of looking forward to it
jus hope that ntg will go wrong
i guess im loving it more and more
as qihang gets nearer and nearer
and who knows,
i may be missing pingan nx yr
den maybe my nx yr daoyan or sumtink will feel upset
:P
haha
arranging with mons now to lunch with her!
yay!
then i dun need to lunch alone le!
haha
hopefully the rest of the day will turn out to be fine!
im looking forward esp to the night!
mwhahaha
:)
im still a happy gal today
except that the fact that
my unreasonable mum dun let me use the bag that i want
whatever
be it sweet or bitter; 6:34 PM
im so excited man!
my yiren will be back tml morning
and me and mons are gg to fetch her
will spend sum time with them then go for paiju!
and yes!
im loving my ju more and more
pingan:)
aft paiju will be meeting sis at bugis for dinner
then go watch the dramabox performance!
such a packed day
but im sure i will have fun!
dunno why,but i suddenly in a very good mood now
***
shall do sum hmewrk tonight!
be it sweet or bitter; 3:49 AM
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
the first part was rather slack and we play play a bit with comestics!
den lunch was ok,although i really fee like eating curry!
sorry daoyans for xiao tai ing at the first full run!
WENDY!all your fault la!
laugh and laugh den make me laugh too!
ok la,not all your fault too!
i COULD have concentrated better!
daoyans!i promise i will not laugh anymore!
and i will try my best to insert much more emotions into it
and dun shift my legs anymore!:)
only 12 more days,
i promise i will really really do my best
and the good news for all is,
i finally realised
im beginning to love pingan more and more
i guess i will suffer frm post qihang syndrome agn this yr
***
today paiju ended qt early,
went home and had a nice nap!
yay!
tml shall be my mugging day
since the printer is replaced le
:)
***
CHUWEN+
WENDY+
MAPLE+
MINGEE+
XUEZHEN+
KEMIN+
DANFONG=
PINGAN 2006:)
***
gosh!the pics for my previous post is screwed!
i guess its coz of the stupid frame
:/
be it sweet or bitter; 6:55 AM
well,this is the neos taken with mons and esti on HUAHUI fundraising day!
we are three hiao gurls!:)
huahui qihang 2006 postcards!they are so lovely!i like a lot!:)
be it sweet or bitter; 6:26 AM
Monday, June 05, 2006
jus because we were no longer close
wth
is it necessary?
not like leaving the testimonials there will have any effect lor
why must ppl be so ji jiao abt this type of things?
anyway,she will never see my dis post
coz WE ARE NO LONGER close ma
whatever
be it sweet or bitter; 7:30 AM
Sunday, June 04, 2006
things will be fine
i will always be here for you
:)
***
hope she will come and read my blog
-.-"
be it sweet or bitter; 11:49 PM
whatever
be it sweet or bitter; 8:00 PM
Friday, June 02, 2006
scared i cannot make it tml
):
and there goes my mugging day
)):
be it sweet or bitter; 11:31 PM
):
haii
having sore throat and running nose
):
paiju was fine today
haha
i like the intro of our ju!
well done,maple!
haha
tml is saturday
and i shall mug
***
i will put you down
at least i will try my best
be it sweet or bitter; 6:33 AM