Monday, July 31, 2006
you are making me feel terrible
but you will never know
how it is like for me to see you
then brush past you like a stranger
sometimes i wish we are indeed strangers
then i will not be feeling so bad now
***
shall stop before i get all emo agn
theres chem tml
im soo gonna die for it
as in i can understand the stupid mole concept la
but whn you ask me to do the qns,
i jus carn
fuck
not gonna care anymore
i shall try my best no matter what
going off in ten mins time to mug
wish me good luck ppl
***
at least theres something tt i look forward to tml
its so much better than sitting there doing ntg

Saturday, July 29, 2006

i decided to leave things as it is
yea,and its abt bilis

it was a weird weird way to end a saturday night
there are things i wanted to say too
but i guess its just not the time yet
im still considering if i shld say it,
how i shld say it
or even whn i shld say it
lets just let things remain as it is
im really worried and afraid
that it will come out all wrong again.

曾灰心以为
我来错了世界
太多想法很另类
找不到人了解
***
长长的路途并不那么容易走
同样的悲伤快乐重复四年久
闭上眼但却听见秒针还在动
时间从没停过
你说你不想这么快就离开我
我说我不能没有太阳的运作
森林中迷失方向该往哪里走
有谁能告诉我
在无声之中我来起了你的手
没有翅膀的鸟儿怎么飞得动
现在已经是半夜凌晨三点钟
你必须要走
不能再拖
每一年望着学姐背影心沉重
每一次叙别掉的眼泪那么多
这一次我想轻轻放开你的手
才发现原来一样的痛
星期五我应该怎么过
***
whats the problem?
can you just tell me?

Friday, July 28, 2006

xubie2006:D
i still cannot believe it will be my turn next yr
glad tt deco was not that screwed aftall:D
sorry to all if i sounded very flustered
or demanding jus now during deco
i was very jinzhang:D
yes,i mentioned in my previous i was touched by two ppl
the other person is...
esti jenita!
i dunno why too.haha
jus thanks for understanding me whn i was real stressed
i love you a lot
sorry for adding on to your stress
whnever i su ku to you
i know you have a lot of things on hand too
esp now onwards!:)
i know im selfish
but i hope you can be there for me whn i need you
cause i will forever be with you:)
***
this torturous week has officially ended
not like next week is very good though
chem and maths
on tuesday and wednesday respectively
will jus so gonna have a good night sleep tonight
:)

sometimes simple words are better than anything else
i guess i din have much feelings jus now
but ya,
i was touched unexpectedly by two people
yea,
as i said:
sometimes simple words mean a lot
i was kind of glad that it still mean something to her
and yupp,
i wasnt even angry in the first place
maybe jus a pained and disappointed feeling?
i remembered very clearly i told myself at that time:
not to trust you agn
but as time passes,
things got better
and i sort of forgot abt the whole incident
until you reminded me in the note
haha
i guess everything happen for a reason
maybe its jus fated for it to happen
dun blame yourself anymore k?
its the best xubie present i received
im serious:D

Thursday, July 27, 2006

im pissed agn
ok
why arent you doing anything?
or rather,why arent you taking the initiative to do things
im really very tired already k?
i keep thinking how we will pull through tml
den the more i think
the more im worried
wtf
i jus feel like cursing and cursing
not at you of course
but at EVERYTHING
theres still so much undone
but you are not giving it a damn
and YOU are the one who is supposed to be in charge
if only cursing can solve problems
fuck.
***
im still left with egeog
and thats the one im most worried abt
not to mention:
lots of xubie presents
and ENDLESS deco stuff
***
ok,off to chionging le
only 24 more hrs left
24 more hrs ltr,
i will be totally relaxed
:D

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

im surviving well
so far.
deco is still driving me a bit crazy
cause we really had no time!
nvm,
things will be fine eventually
(i hope so)
ok,so physics SPA and chi kaocha is down
and im left with lit tml
and egeog plus xubie on fri
plus LOTS of xubie presents!
im jus so gonna slack aft this week
:/
***
i was really pissed by someone yest
as mentioned in monica's blog
whats the problem with her?
who does she think she is
its not what she says
its her attitude
***
nvm,shall not ruin my mood by thinking abt her
off to chiong soon!
tata

Monday, July 24, 2006

i think my previous post sounds really depressed
but its okay
im jus gonna survive no matter what
theres SPA tml
but no,its not that type of SPA that you can enjoy
in case anyone still does not know
its science practical in another words,
and it WILL be included in O levels
yes,
i will try my best one
although im like super busy this week
and theres xubie on top of everything
esp whn my grp's progress is REAL slow
but nvm
i will jus gonna make sure that
everything will be fine at the end of the day
im not gonna let this busy week beat me
im gonna to survive it
and smile at the end of the week,
thinking:
yea!i have survived another tortuous week!:)
***
its a tired day today
but shall not elaborate:)

Saturday, July 22, 2006

i need the determination
i slacked the whole day today
and im feeling super useless
and guilty now
i dun understand why i jus dun feel like studying
although in my heart
i know i desperately need to
its like
i keep telling myself
i must study very very hard no matter what
but i still slacked as usual no matter what
im such a slacker
i lack the determination
and motivation
i remembered when i was studying for PSLE,
i was very focused and motivated
but look at now.
i need the feeling back
the feeling of picking up my books
to study
im not gonna care
i will find the feeling back
no matter where it has gone to
i'll jus so gonna do well
i won disappoint myself anymore

Friday, July 21, 2006

shall not think abt it anymore
tears are a wonderful way to wash away your pain
will go study soon
no matter what

Thursday, July 20, 2006

im a happy girl now!
thanks sis for cancelling three items on my wishlist!
:)
currently searching for lit notes
den will be a hardworking gal
and start studying
i will remain motivated
at least for these two weeks with lots of tests!
jiayou le,everyone preparing for tests!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

im like blogging like mad
the previous two posts were sort of emotional
so now i shall post a narrative one
haha
so life still goes on
since now qihang is over
weilao has ended
the only major event left for huahui in this yr is
XUBIE
omg
i will feel so bu she and sad la
its like im tt type who dun really get close with seniors
but these two yrs in the two diff jus,
i got to know qt some grey badge
and trust me,
they are wonderful man!
its like times really flies
before we all realise,
next yr will be OUR turn,redbellies
):
i lurve huahui
frm the bottom of my heart
***
next two weeks are like hell
week5:
physics SPA
elit test
elective geog test
week6:
maths test
chem test

well,it may be a good thing if the number of tests
can get me more movitated
:)

jus figured out i should not be troubled at all
if you enjoy bitching
then go ahead
i can jolly survive well without all of you

dunno whats wrong
but it feels wrong
you are ignoring me again
ohwells,
but what can i do
if you choose to believe those freaking bitches
if you think our friendship is worthed so little
but act,i carn blame you too
coz aftall you are closer to HER then to me
***
dun be such a bitch k?
i did not even do anything to you

Sunday, July 16, 2006

i know my own feelings best
its over
really
im glad that i have made this decision
im sure you will make a better friend
than a crush
i wish you all the best
in whatever you do
i will be behind you
supporting you
and one day if you need someone to fall back on
i'll be here always
a friend who will comfort you
like how you have once comforted me
i bet you won believe it
but you really touched me deeply that time
whn you comforted me
i still rmb the whole scenerio very clearly
so you are not good with words?
but its okay
your actions are bigger than words
jiayou le,my dear friend
***
im still shocked by the fact
that i once sank in
but its okay
cause i have gotten out of it le
and im glad i have done so

Saturday, July 15, 2006

nothing to blog abt
i miss you
i need a lot of strength to keep to my promise
but i know i can do it
cause i must do it

Friday, July 14, 2006

the feeling is jus so different now
i guess im putting down alr
and i finally found out what i really want frm you
我只想做你的朋友
可以坐下来认真谈心的那种
真的

today is weilao
hmmm
had a lot of ganchu
i guess pingan had qt a lot of fun man!
and we FINALLY took luci-sewen photos!:)
haha
i miss last time a lot
i miss paiju days
i miss you guys
***
was very proud of bengta as well
its like aftall,it has been one yr
but we still rmb each other
and went crazy tgt
its like the feelings are still there
i was really happy
and touched to see tt our bond is so strong
strong enough to endure a yr
bonds are easy to build
but hard to maintain
although a yr has past
although we have nt been keeping in touch for some time
its still there
the feeling that i carn describe
we will definitely carry on with our lives
lives that will get further and further away
until they dun overlap at all
but im glad
im really glad
to be in your lives
at least for that few months
its like i guess we are fated
to be tgt as a ju
to bond like this
i really love bengta a lot a lot
the most impt thing is that
im really proud of you guys
or rather us!
i was really touched that moment whn yi came to me
and said:lets take a bengta pic ltr!
so you guys have not forgotten
the times that we spent tgt
the moments that we had
and the memories that we share
i really sincerely wish you guys all the best
for whatever you do in your life,
you will have my support
jiayi
peipei
jieying
suwi
cynthia
chuwen
wendy
joanne
all of you have officially walked into my life
and will never walk out of it
no matter what happen,
you will be part of my memory
thanks for making my yr 2005 so memorable
and making my second qihang so special
bengta;bring the stage down
***
hey ppl!
dun misunderstand k?
although i blogged like sooo much abt bengta,
that does not mean i dun love pingan k?
haha
jus have a sudden urge to blog abt bengta ma
:P
im really blessed i guess
to get into huahui
and to be in two wondeful jus
in two continuous years
:))
i dunno what else to say
i jus lurve both my jus sooo much
and im glad weilao has brought all these feelings to me

Thursday, July 13, 2006

okay, so yeoxuezhen wants me to blog in here.

so im here, before i go off to update my own blog

im monica, her secret crush (: but obviously, being the smart me, i found out about it! wahaa xD

i dont know what to say in here man, so i think this post will be super short. there's so many things we have to do!

we have to find a day to go shopping to settle our birthday presents! and kind of make it up to you for your birthday, yup.

tomorrow's weilao and i know you're like excited, haha i dont know why, but i dont have the mood! i miss qihang alot though, maybe thats why i dont really want a weilao. i would rather have qihang all over again, please please.

okay i shall stop whining, byebye :D

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are flexible and ready for anything! You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

i think this is rather true
esp the part abt risk of cheating,
what i think of love now
and my ideal relationship
the part abt marriage if not true though
haha

my blog is weird
they will automatically change the colour of the post
aft i post a new one
pissed

this is only my 90th post
like my blog has damn little posts la
haha
even pingan's blog is going to have more posts
den mine le lor
kind of regret closing my old blog
haha
but i think my posts will soon build up to a lot
cause im like blogging ALMOST everyday?
haha
***
you dont seem to understand what im trying to say
but nevermind
shall jus forget about it
since it seems to be all over alr
***
i wana say special thanks to someone here
AH XIONG!
its amazing to take the same bus as you!
im glad we sort of get closer
thanks for being with me
whn im troubled with probs
whn i go crazy in the morning
as in i was really glad
whn you act listened to my prob
and try to give advices
(although they always dun work!)
i appreciate you lots k?
and i love you
-your da fu:))-
***
i still cannot let it go
sometimes i wish it din even start
yet sometimes i wish it will continue
although i know
nothing will come out of it
definitely
***
had a ridiculous dream last night
that will never ever happen in real life
never.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

yest was a weird day
full of many different emotions at one go
and i broke my promise to a lot of ppl
including myself
i tot i could do it
i really tot so
but it seems that im proven wrong
haha
you keep telling me you think its normal
and i should maybe not try so hard
to put it all down
but you asked me to put it down
and stop sinking in
who should i listen to?
i know i should follow my
own feelings
but the prob is
i aso dunno what i want
***
i really do not know
how will you feel if it really happen
but i can tell you
i will be hurt
upset
disappointed
coz i believe so much in you
i really do
i know it sounds extremely cliche
but i really treasure our friendship
a lot
sometimes i wonder
am i too dependent on you?
but i realised
im really not someone
who is strong
and im always glad that you are here for me
to depend on
i realised i cannot do without you
i really cannot
i love you,yiren:))

ok,so 100706 came and went
thanks jingying,esti and mons
for the bdae cake!
and who says i despise it lor?
stupid mons,
dun add words into my mouth!:P
i will like anything my darling esti buy
(esti jenita,hope you got come my blog!)
haha
and mons claims that i should not complain anymore
coz she blogged abt me
but hello?
its jus a SHORT paragraph
and believe,
the paragraph is REAL short!
haha
i shall not be mean la!
thanks mons!
")
this post is jus a silly one
tata

Monday, July 10, 2006

shall blog another day
sick-
wtf

Saturday, July 08, 2006

ohwells,
what can i say?
it has faded off
even faster than what i imagined
everything has ended
and everyone jus moved on with their lives
as though ntg has happened
but theres noone i can blame
coz even me myself
has not much feelings for it alr
esp whn everyone else is alr soo out of it
what else can i do?
how can i feel committed
whn noone else feel that way?

Friday, July 07, 2006

i thot i have gotten over you
and i told the whole world i have gotten over you
but im beginning to doubt it
have i really gotten over you?
i wish i did not even start it
its so wrong and sinful
to be attracted to you
i wish i really have gotten over you
and its kind of hard
and its getting even harder as days go by
i wonder whn will i really put you down
and the prob is
i suspect you know alr
i know it will definitely
affect our friendship
if you know abt it
coz i know you are someone
who cannot bear this type of things
but i really hope it won
and im trying to let it be over
im really trying
and im sure i will
succeed soon
:))

so yest was supposed to be my
advance birthday celebration
but poor esti jenita had fever agn
so its left with mons and i
shall skip a lot of details here
we went bugis
aft sumthing
extremely stupid and embarrassing happened
i will never forget what happened at macs man
went there by cab
had seoul garden and we ate from
2 all the way to 4.30
thats a lot
we ate:
4 plates of meat
10 prawns each
a lot of mussels
corns
fishballs
veggie
tomatoes
watermelons
and some weird weird fried rice!
haha
almost died aft we finished eating!
den we went to bugis street
aft finding the stupid atm
bought a necklace and a belt each
and guess what?
the necklace is only 1.90
and the belt is only 6.00
so we spent less than 8 dollars each on two items!
haha
went to sit down at mos aft that
den we went to arcade!
mwhaha
its a totally embarrassing experience
spent like 4-5 bucks there!
waste my money
(jkjk)
aft arcade we went to the food court to have a drink
aft that is home sweet home for me
while mons went to meet her family

although i dun think its that much of
a birthday celebration anymore
i enjoyed myself a lot!
:)
***
theres a hole in my pocket now

Thursday, July 06, 2006

realised that my blog entries are getting shorter and shorter
haha
shall go off soon
and remain determined!:)
and yes kairou,
i know who you are:)
thanks for your 'early happy birthday':))

im soooo soooo extremely looking forward to tml!!!:))
***
screwed up my chi oral
ohwells

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

hmmm
what exactly happened to you?
jus wana let you know,
i will be here for you
no matter what.
you take care of yourself k?
-hugs-
***
i really wish im there for you
first its you
den its you
i begin to think
what exactly can i do for my dear friends?
***
i will survive tonight

Monday, July 03, 2006

new blogskin!
haha
will try to improve it man!
haha:)

Sunday, July 02, 2006

this post is dedicated to the special someone
that i mentioned in my previous post
shall not mention who she is
but jiayou gal!
i know it takes a lot of courage and strength
but im sure you will get through this
somehow
coz aftall,
you do have strength and courage
and i admire you for that
you know yest,i kept thinking what will i do
if its me
den i realised i won know what to do too.
theres aso ntg much i can do to help
besides being here for you
so jus rmb,whnever you need me,
jus give me a call anytime k?
i will be here for you.
decision making is always not easy
but no matter what decision you make,
you will have my support
and just rmb,
make a decision that you will not regret
i guess theres ntg called the best decision
in this world
all options have their pros and cons
just do not regret and it will be enough k?
be comfortable and happy with your
decision
and it will be the best decision alr
:)
cheers,dun worry gal!
it will all turn out fine:)

uhmmm,
i have a personal msg for sumone
shall do it tml
need to go off le
nites, world

my childhood.
xuezhen//*

plugs.
Sign my Guestbook
Read my Guestbook
red bellies; anges; cecilia; chuwen; cynthia; esti; fiona; harkhui; jenny; jiayi; jiehui; jieying; joanne; kahyee; kemin; laypeng; melissa; monica; myra; pingan; pohting; serene; suwi; xiaowei; yuensin;

March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
August 2007

credits.
blogskins greene_sprit host