Wednesday, January 10, 2007
im not really sure why im feeling this way
and i cant explain how im feeling now too
maybe its just that i dont know why the feeling can just fade away within such a short period of time
when i used to be all miserable over you
yes,i knew right from the beginning that it will just be a passing phrase
and i will definitely get over you sooner or later
but as time goes by,it seems that i have gotten used to liking you
to look out for you in the crowd
to watch for your every movement
to even be happy when you just talk to me
and now when it seems that the feeling is gone
i feel weird
thats this sense of emptiness within me
its like,i feel empty now because you occupied quite a part of my life
although i knew right from the start,i will get over you
but when this day comes,it just feels...weird
im doubting myself
maybe the feeling wasnt as strong as i thought it was
but if thats the case,wasnt i being silly for hurting because of you?
im glad because i think i found back a friend
i have to admit our friendship was more or less affected because of my feelings towards you
at least it is,on my part.
that day when we were talking,i suddenly realised,
there seems to be no more ... feeling for me
i just treated you as a friend and talked to you as a friend
then i thought maybe it was a step to get over you
the only thing i din realise was that maybe,
i was over you already.
the line between liking you or just liking you as a friend seems to be blurred
i find myself unable to differentiate my feelings towards you anymore
maybe its just a sign that im REALLY over you.
it feels like even if someone chants your name 1o times in front of me,
i may not feel anything...anymore
but yet its irony because i cannot be sure
im not sure if im really really over you
or im just tired of it all already
im afraid H will just be someone to help me get over you
or maybe H is just an excuse i give myself for getting over you
i once said i will never fall for someone whom i dont know
but it seems that its not quite true now
i dont like it at all
i dont understand why i can change soo quickly
like it was only one week ago when i was still quite dee about you.
but one thing i can be sure is that,
i will never get too serious about H
in the sense that,i dont think it will be possible for me to be miserable over H or something
lets hope what M said will be true,
may H be just someone whom we will talk about.
nothing more than that.
no matter what,
you already have a special place in my heart
even if im over you
im sure i will never forget you
even 20 years down the road.
be it sweet or bitter; 6:50 PM
